Introduction

Tags

first post, introduction

Hi there,

Welcome to my blog, and thank you for visiting! I’ve created this blog with the aim of sharing and exploring adventures, experiences and passions close to my heart. I’m hoping it will give any readers something they can take away for themselves whether it be inspiration, ideas, awareness, new perspective, or simply just enjoyment from reading the posts.

To start, my name is Samantha. I was born and raised in Auckland, New Zealand, and I know NZ will always be home no matter where I may find myself. Since I can remember I have enjoyed the company of critters great and small. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Applied Science (Wildlife Management and Animal Welfare), and I have always strived to work in some animal field or other from shelters to zoos to rehabilitation centres to veterinary hospitals.

Since I was little, non-human animals have been my fascination and main interest. I grew up in a house backing onto a reserve in the suburbs, and we’d always be out feeding the ducks and other birds. One thing I learnt more and more growing up was that animals cannot speak for themselves. Like human babies, they are dependent upon others to stand up for their welfare. Animals have all levels of intelligence and a lot of the time I think it is forgotten how sentient they really are. Despite this, animals are exploited all over the world, along with the natural environments they inhabit.

I tend to find myself drawn to people who care about what happens to the world and who strive to personally contribute something positive. There is so much to be passionate about – so much that needs to be done – and I really do feel that if each person contributed something good to an issue they felt strongly about, the world would be better off. For me, I volunteer with rescue organisations at home, and aim to dedicate a bit of time each year to an overseas wildlife rescue and/or conservation project. And that is why I have this blog – to recount the journeys, and explore the things that really matter to me. I’m grateful to anyone who takes the time to read it, and hope that it encourages others to share and think about their own journeys and adventures.

Sam.

Note: All the photographs used in this blog are my own unless otherwise stated. If you would like to use them please be polite and contact me for permission. :)

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Articles on my work and video content have been published with permission at:

• –  Kea Kids News – article and video about my NZ cat rescue work (for video skip forward to 4:30).
• – Foundation for the Adoption, Sponsorship and Defence of Animals: Responsible Tourism blog; see article here.
• – Eastlife Magazine (April 2016, pages 17-18); article about my wildlife work and Borneo trip.
• – Rural Living Magazine (April-May 2016, pages 35-36); article about my wildlife work.
• – The New Zealand Herald; article on palm oil before I left for Borneo.

“Do not stop taking this medication”

Tags

anxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness, self care

I’ve been back in New Zealand just over ten days after working with an incredible charity in England called The Fox Project for almost two months. In this week-and-a-half of being home I have acclimatised myself to being back at my office job full-time whilst getting over jet-lag, caught up with family and friends, thought endlessly about the foxes and questioned my next steps in this journey of life, had dental surgery, adopted out two foster kitties and welcomed another one into our home, been knocked over by the flu, and just when I thought I was coping OK getting back into the swing of things I ran out of my anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication without realising I didn’t have any left.

I advocate talking about mental health and removing this negative stigma we have against it. When you have the flu you’re encouraged to rest up and get better. But there’s this unspoken grey area around mental health. I certainly don’t feel like I can walk into the office on Monday morning and say, “Ah yeah, the weekend was a bit of a write-off; depression knocked me sideways. How was yours?”

Perhaps it’s because it isn’t something everyone experiences. Perhaps to someone who hasn’t struggled with a type of mental illness it just seems really, really odd to think that afflictions we call depression and anxiety and whatnot can keep people bed-ridden and unable to function. If you can’t relate it must be really difficult to have understanding. I’ve had conversations with friends and family members who don’t “get” depression, but they have a loved one in their life who is struggling with it and they don’t know what to do. My basic advice, going off how I would like my own partner to treat things when I’m low, looks like this:

– 1) Don’t take your loved one’s mental illness personally. It is not a reflection on you, your relationship or your ability to help them.
– 2) Know that there will be times when you can’t make your loved one’s struggle go away. What you can do is give your loved one patience and kindness. A lot of people with mental illness worry that it will push their loved ones away. Watch telly with them, go for walks together, eat food together, read books. You don’t even have to do things together, just be in the same room as them while they listen to music or nap or do whatever they do to cope – being there for them and being around them, even if you don’t feel like you’re doing anything much, will show them that their illness is not pushing you away.
– 3) Learn a bit about what they’re dealing with. This will give you more understanding on where they’re coming from, and what to do if you get worried about things.

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I suddenly ran out of my medication three days ago. I thought I had more, but I couldn’t find it anywhere, so I went to work on Monday and ordered a prescription online as usual. I was feeling great. I was thinking “Maybe I don’t need this stuff anymore.” For some reason that is always in the back of my mind. As if once I get off the antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds I’ll be more ‘normal’. New friends won’t look at me funny when I mention DEPRESSION or ANXIETY to them and I realise that they don’t “get” it and now they’re judging me. I won’t stress for five days leading up to a social gathering that I’m anxious about. I won’t struggle to get out of bed some days, or feed myself, or shower, or feel any kind of self-worth. I won’t start to feel like a little kid when night falls because the dark brings all kind of anxiety. I’ll be a normal, functioning piece of society.
I take meds for physical ailments. Yet I never think to myself, “Gosh, you’d be such a better person if you could wean yourself off those.” It’s just when it comes to the fuzzy, grey area of mental health.

Anyway. I was productive on Monday. I was thinking, “Wow, I may actually be over this!” It’s not uncommon for me to miss a day of medication here and there. I try and get onto it quickly, though. After all, the packaging is clearly labelled DO NOT STOP TAKING THIS MEDICATION.

Monday evening I felt a sore throat coming on. A week prior I’d spent about 30 hours traveling from the UK to NZ on cramped, uncomfortable planes and transitioning through busy, swarming airports. Fantastic places for bugs to thrive and pass from person-to-person. I had vivid, disturbing dreams.

Tuesday morning I woke up exhausted with a fever and a sore, dry throat. I am against spreading bugs around the workplace, and I can hardly function while I have a fever, so I kept myself at home. I felt lethargic, guilty and somewhat useless. I got myself to the store and made sure I grabbed food for myself.

I hate winter. It’s cold, and it gets dark so early, and there’s no sunshine on my skin. When I’m ill with a fever or similar I get worried about how I’ll sleep. When darkness falls that anxiety increases tenfold. My prescription was not ready to pick up on Tuesday. By that evening my anxiety was getting the better of me, probably no thanks to the flu. I was anxious to go to bed. I was disturbed at how anxious I felt. I found myself thinking, “I’m a failure. I still need the meds. I’m still owned by my depression.” I was agitated and irritated at everything. I was crying on-and-off for ‘no reason’. My partner sat with me and looked at me with that “I’m really doing what I can to help you but it’s kinda hard to not let this affect me as well” look on his face. Poor guy. And that’s what I was telling myself; “Poor guy, he shouldn’t have to deal with this, he’s got his own stuff going on, I should just go away, or find somewhere that they can put me out for a while so I don’t have to be conscious like this.”

I got in bed. I couldn’t sleep. I tried for a couple of hours then went to the spare room and wrapped myself up on the couch. I tossed and turned. My blocked nose was being very unhelpful. I fidgeted, the cat cuddled me then attacked me in annoyance, I had old fox flea bites that were itchy so I tossed and turned some more. Then, just as I thought I was comfy enough to sleep, I noticed the buzzing in my ears, my tinnitus. It really was quite loud. Unusually loud. It was getting louder. Why was it getting louder? It became so loud that I couldn’t hear the rain outside. It was so loud it was like my head was screaming. I was worried about my hearing. I imagined myself screaming; that’s what it sounded like. It was screaming and screaming and screaming. Ridiculous images started popping into my head. Scary nightmarish images. Was I awake or was I asleep? I was imagining these awful things and my head was screaming, and I wanted to call out to my partner but I couldn’t make a noise. I couldn’t move. I was too scared to move. I was paralysed. I never get night terrors, I don’t know what this was but it is not something I’d experienced before, not since a kid. I found my voice and called out to my partner, but he couldn’t hear me. My heart was doing its silly palpitations and my head was screaming and I was afraid that something awful would happen if I stayed there any longer. I forced myself up, pushed myself into our room and hurtled into bed. My partner had nooooo idea what was going on, he had to get up early for a new job and was stressed enough himself. He didn’t need this at 3 in the morning. He switched on the light, got my tissue box and glass of water from the other room, and I curled up next to him like a little child. The buzzing didn’t stop, but I tried not to listen to it. I didn’t fall asleep.

This morning marked day three of no medication. I don’t know what last night was; if it was the flu, or if it was the fact that I was overdue my meds. Maybe an unfortunate combination of both. My head hurts, my throat hurts, my fever is still here so I have kept myself home. I picked up my meds and took them this morning. I’m very anxious about tonight, and it’s only midday. I’m going to try and make a plan for myself. Get in bed early and read until lights out. No screens. Have my iPod on-hand to play my ‘sleepy’ playlist to distract me from my thoughts and any awful buzzing. Usually I’d not want to think about whatever’s making me anxious until the last possible moment, but I think facing it will help me feel more prepared; help me feel like I have a little bit of power in this situation.

I wanted to write this because getting things ‘on paper’ really helps me. It helps me feel like I’m not holding it inside and dealing with it all on my own. I wanted to publish this because I believe in dialogue around this topic. The more we put it out in the open, the more we talk about it the way we would easily talk about the struggles of having a broken leg or tummy bug, the less taboo it becomes. I don’t want to treat it like it’s something to be ashamed of. I want to treat it like it’s real, it’s difficult, it’s awful, it’s something a high percentage of us deal with and we don’t have to feel like lesser humans because of it.

Sam.

The Fox Project – Nicholas’ Story

Tags

animal rescue, animal welfare, animals, biodiversity, conservation, England, fox, fox cub, fox release, Kent, mange, red fox, The Fox Project, travel, vet nurse, vet technician, volunteer

So far I have spent a month with a wonderful charity called The Fox Project based in Kent, England. Before visiting England I had never seen a fox before, and it has been utterly delightful and completely magnificent working with this native predator.

Southeast England is currently experiencing an unusually hot, dry summer. Because of this the Project is particularly busy rushing out for rescues involving collapsed, dehydrated and starving animals. Much of a fox’s diet in the wild is made up of smaller animals and insects such as worms, birds and rodents. When the ground is dry and hard, worms are few and far between on the earth’s surface and it becomes more difficult for many animals to find food as well as water. Foxes are just one of the animals suffering, and at the moment there is a high volume of foxes being found injured or ill; they simply aren’t strong enough to sustain themselves.

Nicholas is one little guy who we thankfully rescued before it was too late. As well as being very hungry and thirsty Nicholas also had severe mange – one of the worst cases I’ve ever seen, in fact. Sarcoptic mange is caused by the Sarcoptic scabiei mite, a parasite that burrows into the skin and causes intense irritation. The fox’s skin becomes incredibly itchy, and an infected animal will scratch itself raw. Hair follicles are damaged by the mites, and hair loss is a common symptom of mange as well as a crust over the skin that resembles dry mud or white/yellow/brown scabs. Mange also often causes the eyes to become gunky/crusty, and in time they will seal over as the mange worsens. Because of these symptoms we class mange as a fatal disease if left untreated; the fox’s immune system is weakened, lesions from scratching may become infected, once the eyes close over the animal is unable to find food, water or defend themselves. However, mange is surprisingly easy to treat if caught early enough.

Luckily for little Nicholas we did catch him early enough. A few weeks ago we were contacted by a member of the public who had seen a poorly fox visiting his garden. He was worried about the little creature, and asked us for some help. We supplied the gentleman with a cage trap, and on the 24th of July he called us to let us know that the fox had been trapped.

Any time a fox is caught in one of our cage traps we treat it as an emergency. The cage traps are large enough for an adult fox to walk quite a few paces and stand up fully, but foxes are naturally adverse to being confined in areas where there is no escape route. Trapped foxes usually set to working on an escape, which involves them trying to dig or bite their way out of the cage. Of course, the thick metal wires of the trap do not allow escape, and foxes can severely damage themselves if left for too long trying to get out of a cage trap. We carefully explain to anyone with a cage trap in their possession that a fox can break its jaw if left in there for too long. Thus, as soon as they know a fox has been caught, they call us and we rush over.

Hence, over to this newly-trapped fox we rushed. What we found in the trap could hardly be recognised as a fox; tiny, hairless, crusty and brown, it was a wonder that he was still mobile. The lovely gentleman who caught him was so worried! We assured him that we would do everything we could, but that the disease had progressed quite far.

Back at the hospital unit in Tunbridge Wells we carefully lifted Nicholas up onto our treatment table to have a proper look at him. He had a bit of hair on his face, legs and tail, but other than that he was bald. There was a nasty crust covering the top of his back and his ears. His eyes were very gunky, and you could tell that it was a struggle for him to keep them open. We gave him antibiotics, an anti-mange injection, worming treatment, eye ointment and also applied oil to the crusts on his body, ears and face. Rubbing oil into the scabby crusts helps to soften them and encourages them to fall off without damaging the skin underneath.

Nicholas spent the next few days in our hospital unit recovering. We gave him daily antibiotics, oil treatments, eye ointment and fed him up with lots of nutritious, tasty food. The scabs slowly began to fall off his body and ears, and pink skin showed underneath. By the third day, however, we were worried. Nicholas was so very flat; hardly stirring when we handled him, hardly moving himself at all. Since coming into our care we had noticed that he had an occasional deep, gurgly cough – most likely severe lungworm. We were all rooting for him, but we were concerned that we had rescued him too late.

Nicholas, flat and lethargic on his third day of treatment.

But! Nicholas persevered. By the seventh day of hospitlisation he was a LOT perkier. In fact, he was one of our feistiest patients! His cute little displeased growl was a good sign that he was feeling strong enough to defend himself. His mange treatment lasted two weeks, by the end of which his eyes were fully open, his ears were no longer weighed down with heavy scabs, soft fuzz was growing back across his body and his cough was completely gone. He had rested very patiently in our hospital ward, and now it was time to let him go back home.

Nicholas all ready to go home after two weeks of treatment!

On the 7th of August, exactly two weeks after his rescue, we returned Nicholas to the garden he had been trapped in. His human friend was amazed at the difference he could see in Nicholas, and it was lovely to have him there to experience the little fox’s release. It is always so rewarding to see the foxes go back out into the world once they are all better. Nicholas was certainly ready to go; as soon as we placed the cage down on the ground in the garden he began scratching at the floor. We lifted the hatch and away he went, darting straight into a bush and gamboling down to the end of the garden.

At the moment, most days at The Fox Project seem to involve rescuing animals that are only able to have their suffering ended. Being able to watch Nicholas from the moment of his rescue, through his uncertain recovery to the point of his release was so fulfilling. It is really wonderful knowing that he is completely treated of his mange, lungworm, and has been given a brilliant start to his second chance at life thanks to his local human guardian and The Fox Project.

Well done, Nicholas; you made it!

Sam.

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England – The Fox Project

Tags

animal rescue, animal welfare, apex predator, biodiversity, carnivore, compassion, conservation, England, fox, kindness, passion, red fox, travel, volunteer

I am currently in the middle of a placement with The Fox Project, a registered charity in Kent, England. My inexplicable love of mammalian wildlife has seen me travel around the world to care for animals such as wolves, elephants and orang-utans, and now I find myself in the UK working with the incredible Vulpes vulpes – and I don’t want to leave. The Fox Project’s mission, passion and people have gripped me with a complete awe for the work that they do. They are up against some very tough, cruel opposition, yet they conduct themselves with professionalism and compassion. The staff and volunteers encounter some truly devastating situations that would hurt the heart of any animal-lover, but they soldier on and continue to do what they can for these native apex predators.

The Fox Project started up in 1991 as an education and advice service. Many of the calls they took were requests for suggestions on how to deter foxes from a person’s private property (which can be done effectively and humanely), and how to care for ill or injured foxes that visit a person’s property. Two years later, The Fox Project was asked to help an unwell fox that a member of the public was not confident treating, and thus their Wildlife Hospital unit was born. Now The Fox Project continues to act as an information bureau, but they also have a fully fledged Cub Unit as well as their Wildlife Hospital, and over the course of a year the charity will rescue and rehabilitate over 200 cubs (this year we’re up to 298!), and care for over 800 foxes in total.

The natural seasons dictate the type of rescue and rehabilitation work that The Fox Project can generally expect (though no two days are the same!). Spring brings the birth of little fox cubs, and for The Fox Project that means hundreds of babies being brought in for urgent care. These babies will be in care for a few months until they are ready to go back into the wild. Cubs are often rescued due to illness or injury, and it is also common for them to be brought into care after well-meaning people find a fox den, panic, and uplift the cubs unnecessarily. The Fox Project endeavours to educate the public on when it is appropriate to intervene with cubs, and when it is best to let the vixen do the job she is naturally built to do.
In Summer the young rescued cubs are learning to be wild animals, and are thriving in custom-built outdoor enclosures where they receive far less human attention. During this time of the year there is a rise in the number of ill adults found – the theory is that these older animals are making way for the younger population (the new cubs that are starting to make their own ways into the world). This is known as the die-off, and is one of the many amazing ways in which foxes regulate their own numbers. In the wild, the life expectancy of a red fox is only 18 months-two years. It is a short, difficult life for them when they don’t have any human friends looking out for them.
Autumn is the natural time that cubs would be dispersing (finding their own territories and heading off on their own for good). A lot of The Fox Project’s releases happen in Autumn, when the staff are satisfied that the animals in their care are ‘wild’ enough to fend for themselves. The Fox Project’s rehabilitation and release program is incredible, and extremely successful. There are hundreds of foxes out in the wild who have The Fox Project to thank for their second chance at life.
Winter is a tough time for foxes of all ages, and another die-off occurs. The Fox Project has no cubs to care for at this time, but they are inundated with injured and ill foxes. I can imagine that this time of the year would be particularly difficult; the numbers of sad cases outweighs the number of heart-warming successes.

Along with the natural fluctuation of the seasons, there are always animals in need – road traffic accidents and mange are two of the most common reasons we need to bring animals into care. Then there is starvation and dehydration causing animals to collapse – it really is a tough world out there for this species. Every single day I’m amazed at the determined strength these creatures have to persevere despite the odds against them. I’m so glad that there are kind-hearted people who care for them however they can.

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During my placement thus far I have seen successful fox releases, and situations that have made me want to cry (but you have to keep going). I have met incredibly wonderful people who care for animals, and have listened to staff patiently deal with people who have called up to abuse The Fox Project or illegally threaten foxes they’ve seen. We’ve netted brave little cubs riddled with mange (but saveable!), and scooped up adults from the roadside who are taking their last breaths. Every day is different, every day holds some sadness, but above all every day fills me with inspiration and hope – inspiration and hope thanks to the incredible people who dedicate their lives to this sometimes thankless cause, and inspiration and hope for the little foxes who are determined to battle through their hardships. More on The Fox Project soon!

Sam.

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America – Washington, Montana & Hawaii

Tags

america, chipmunk, conservation, deer, dolphin, dolphins, forest fire, Glacier National Park, grouse, Hawaii, Hurricane Ridge, marmot, national park, Olympic National Park, Oregon, overfishing, Running Eagle Falls, Sequim, sooty grouse, spinner dolphin, squirrel, sustainable fishing, tourism, travel, USA, Waianae, Washington

It was so, so tough to leave the wolves last year, not knowing when I would see them again. Thankfully, my partner and I had another couple of weeks to travel and explore; a welcome distraction from my sadness at saying goodbye.

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Washington

Naturally, when we woke up on the morning of our drive up to Washington the coastal Oregon fog was greeting us. The hazy early sky was blurred into the sea underneath, held together with the ghostly cloud of fog. We farewelled our perfect accommodation, Ocean Haven, and set off on our 6.5 hour journey to Sequim, Washington, where my great-aunt and uncle live.

Sequim (pronounce ‘skwim’) has a unique climate – it is known as “sunny Sequim” despite it being surrounded by luxurious forests. Lavender is popular there, and my aunt told us all about the annual Sequim Lavender Festival, which we had just missed. My partner and I spent our few days in Washington bike riding, hiking and spending time with my family. It was a wonderful little retreat. My absolutel favourite day was when we explored Hurricane Ridge in the Olympic National Park. We drove for several miles up a winding road that rose and rose towards the sun. The view from the top was just breath-taking – we parked up, and headed off on one of the many hikes on offer. The views of the surrounding mountain peaks were simply spectacular. Back in Oregon the sky had been choked by smoke from forest fires, but up here the air was clean and clear. We saw deer, marmots, grouse, chipmunks, squirrels and all sorts of other creatures. It was an indescribably beautiful day, and I would recommend Hurricane Ridge to anyone who appreciates wildlife and gorgeous views.

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Montana

Whitefish, Montana, was our next destination. My aunt and uncle hitched a ride with us and let us in on some time-saving travel secrets on the way there. It still took us about ten hours, and as we made our way over the state border the all-too-familiar yellow haze took its hold of the sky once more; forest fires.

My second-cousins live in the lovely town of Whitefish. It was so great being reunited with them all, and we spent lots of family time together. I also wanted to take my partner to one of my favourite places on the planet: Glacier National Park. Unfortunately, at that time GNP was being devastated by a horrific wildlife, the Sprague Fire. The Sprague Fire was caused by a lightening strike in August, and over the next two months it proceeded to burn almost 17,000 hectares (almost 7,000 acres). Because of this, much of the park was closed, and what was still open was strangled by a heavy smoke. I at least wanted to take my partner to Running Eagle Falls, one of my favourite waterfalls – it was lovely there, but quite cold, so we didn’t spend much time exploring the park.

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Hawaii

Trips away always tire me out. There’s the travel involved, the settling in, and more often than not as soon as you’re settled in you’re off to another place to explore. On my own trips I’m usually volunteering as well as doing a bit of remote work for my job back home, so relaxation isn’t the main objective. For this reason I like to top it off with a bit of R&R if possible. When planning our trip my partner and I found a cheaper flight going through Hawaii to get back home, so we decided to stop off for a few days there before returning to the reality of our lives in New Zealand.

I had been to Hawaii about ten years prior with some family, and at that point had been staying at a family friend’s condo in Honolulu. It was a neat experience, though I can’t remember much because my brain doesn’t cooperate when it comes to storing memories (I rely heavily on photographs to keep experiences alive in my mind). I probably had quite a different experience this time around because, well, I was responsible for paying for myself! It made me appreciate how much mum did for my sister and I when we were there; Honolulu has a high tourist density, and it certainly isn’t cheap. My partner and I went on some nice walks, and ate some yummy food, and got a bit of sunshine (though it was tricky to find a clear spot on the white sand; there were so many people!), but ultimately I think we decided that we probably wouldn’t go back. Had we explored quieter parts of Hawaii I’m sure that would have been a different story, but we were simply there to get a bit of relaxation in before getting home.

We of course went to a luau, which was of course attended by a huge amount of people. Despite the high numbers of people this was probably what my partner enjoyed the most in Hawaii; there were traditional dances from different pacific islands (including New Zealand – yay!), and some absolutely incredible fire dancers that were thrilling to watch. It was quite commercialised, but the cultural education was woven into it in a way that any tourist could enjoy and thus appreciate, which I think is really important.

A couple of days after the luau we ventured to Waianae and hopped on a boat called the Dolphin Star (Hoku Nai’a). This was classed as an eco-tour, and I was pretty excited. Indeed; shortly into the boat ride we saw a pod of spinner dolphins lazing about, including a wee baby that was spinning around under the water. Gorgeous! After dolphin watching we drove to a quiet spot for some snorkelling. There were lots of lovely little fishies, but I found out from one of the guides that the area is extremely over-fished, and the coral is dying thanks to the human interference. There were a good two dozen people on board, and I thought it was quite a missed opportunity for educating everyone; we could have been told all about the struggles that face the local ecosystem and wildlife, and learn about how we can help the oceans. This wasn’t really covered, and on top of that at one point one of the guides lured (quite forcefully) a little octopus out of its hiding place with a stick – it got stressed and so squirted ink everywhere, and whilst most of the tourists were impressed, I felt sad that this supposed ‘eco-tour’ was not quite being true to its name. I carry on and on about education and awareness being powerful tools, and that’s because I thoroughly believe it! The tour was a good opportunity to educate the visitors a bit on the importance of sustainable living and protecting our environment and ecosystems, but it didn’t really happen.

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And with that, it was back to New Zealand and my latest trip to America was over! Of course, I’m already planning the next…

Sam.

America – Back to the Wolves

Tags

adventure, america, animal rescue, animal welfare, anxiety, arctic wolf, arctic wolves, bully, bullying, depression, Florence, Gem of the Oregon Coast, mental health, Ocean Haven, Oregon, sand dunes, self care, travel, USA, volunteer, White Wolf Sanctuary, Yachats

After my partner and I spent several days exploring the USA’s west coast from California, we had made it to Yachats, the “Gem of the Oregon Coast”, and the place I consider to be my second home.

When I first ventured to Yachats it was 2010, and a very different time for me. I was feeling very alone, I had not yet properly acknowledged my depression or anxiety, I was not settled in a home environment. I had no full-time job to tie me down, but I also had no financial stability. The dynamics of my family had recently changed. I had planned a three-month trip to the USA to do an internship at the White Wolf Sanctuary. It was a beautiful but trying experience, and I’d wished that I had someone special to share it with.

Now, I was able to share it with my life partner. What an incredible thing to be able to do. Better yet: my mother and sister would be joining us in a few days! My favourite place in the world had held some lonely times for me in the past, but I was now turning that all around.

My partner and I spent our first day checking out the sand dunes in Florence, the next town south of Yachats. Florence has these amazing sand dunes stretching for miles – rolling hills and valleys of them. My partner is quite into his fitness and sport, and we hired a couple of sandboards for the day. My partner is very athletic, but I am very the opposite, and while he flew down the sandy slopes I merely faceplanted. The sand dunes are a really neat destination to check out if you have some time in the area – you can go on ATV tours, hire buggies, and even hike around the waves of sand. I got tired pretty quickly out in the hazy sun wandering around the dunes with my partner searching for the perfect slope. I slept very well that night!

It wasn’t long before my mother and my sister arrived. Mum and my sister opted to stay somewhere in Yachats, while my partner and I were at my favourite little spot on the coast (Ocean Haven), so there was a bit of to-ing and fro-ing with only one vehicle. After everyone was settled in to their accommodation we got ready for the tour I had planned for us: a guided tour (with me as the guide!) of the White Wolf Sanctuary.

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So that brings us back to WWS. My heaven, my heartache. My world and my woe. I know that sounds very dramatic, but it’s the best way I can sum it up. And it’s all true.

This place is impossibly dear to my heart, and if I dwell for too long on how far I live from it I am easily saddened. Before my partner flew up and met me in California I volunteered for over a month at the White Wolf Sanctuary. I was so looking forward to being back, and to updating everyone frequently on the exciting work I was doing. But after my first day back at the Sanctuary I was ready to throw the towel in and leave it behind for good.

In 2010, fresh out of university, I headed to the White Wolf Sanctuary for the first time as an intern for three months. I had been excited and ridiculously nervous to meet Lois, the Founder and Director of this incredible sanctuary. Lois was a passionate, inspiring woman whose opinions on environmental topics resonated strongly with mine. I wanted nothing but to do a good job for her, and hopefully befriend some wolves along the way.

Turns out the wolves were easy to bond with (such wonderful creatures they are), but despite working hard for the Sanctuary I came to feel like I would never be good enough. The first week of my internship in 2010 with Lois was bliss; she was my role-model, friend and confidant. I looked up to her, and spent almost every day there working by her side. But after that first week her demeanour with me changed. She began to bully and belittle me.

I live with a mental illness. Sometimes I still find that shameful to say ‘out loud’, but it’s not. We need to make this topic less taboo. I believe that my quirks, personality traits and the way my mind works can make it difficult for me to be with sometimes. I do recognise this, and while I have shunned that acknowledgement in the past it is something that I have worked hard on in recent years, and I’m now in a place where I am incredibly proud of and happy with myself. Lois is an indescribably amazing person, and I love her, as so many people do. I can recognise, however, that at times she is difficult to be around. I’m not going to put a label on why this is, but I do know that people have given up on her in the past because of how she treats them. She has told me that she loves me, but she’s also told me to go back to my ‘own country’. She sings my praises regarding my relationship with the wolves, then she’ll yell at me to get out and not come back. I’m told that I’m a wonderful friend, and then that I don’t truly care about her. The ups and downs are difficult to bear with. Hence, being at WWS under her direction is bittersweet. I gladly work hard for the sanctuary, getting my hands dirty with wolf poop and prey carcasses and muddy water troughs. Quiet time with the animals is my utter bliss, but the negative interactions with Lois are upsetting. I look up to her, and want so badly for her to acknowledge me positively. Unfortunately, due to her own demons, she cannot always do this.

When I came back for my third time during this last visit, Lois was not physically well. It was difficult to see her so frail; she has always been so sprightly and tough. A staff member who I had never met before was taking care of things around the sanctuary while she was mostly staying indoors. I got to learn that he was working very long hours because other staff members had left. He was having to cover the daily duties (including food preparation, cleaning, tourist tours, property maintenance, etc. etc. etc.) as well as checking up on Lois, as well as staying until after the sun went down to feed the wolves at night (so that the hordes of crows didn’t eat their dinner). In summer the sunset happened late in the evening – this man had his own family, but no time in which he could be with them.

On my second day, during a disappointing encounter with Lois, this staff member was told to not come back. Why? Because, she told him, Sam was here now and he wasn’t needed. He told me this as I was getting things ready for a tour that I assumed he’d be leading (I wanted to refresh myself on the ‘ropes’). Blimey, did I panic when I realised that now I was expected to carry out all the duties on my own. I had also committed to doing online work for my New Zealand job in the evenings – it would be impossible for me to fit everything in. It would be impossible for me to not burn out. At first there were a couple of other people who could be counted on to do the evening feeds, but that soon fizzled out. Past volunteers were then begged to, and these lovely folk agreed to help out at night so long as they only had to deal with the wolvesies. It was a constant battle and an exhausting few weeks – not physically, but emotionally. Loved ones back home were begging me to take care of myself; to step back and remove myself from the source of my constant anxiety and upset. But then who would care for the wolves each day?

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Fast-forward a couple of weeks, and I’m here in Oregon with my family. I’m meant to be taking them for a day trip to see the wolves, and I’m terrified. Will Lois curse at my family and tell them to leave? How have the small rally of volunteers coped with things over the last couple of weeks? I make a decision not to introduce my family to Lois. I tell them all about the incredible things she has achieved, and teach them all about the wolves on the drive over. We take the five miles up the forested mountain to the sanctuary slowly, admiring the american jungle around us and its utter beauty. We reach the fence line to the first enclosure and my mother gasps as I once did when I first arrived seven years ago. I smile, and smile, and smile, about to introduce some of my favourite humans to the beasts that I have spoken so much about for years.

My family are nervous. They are about to meet and touch wolves for the very first time. They know that this moment means a lot to me, and they want to make a good impression on these incredible animals. I know that they will.

My partner meets Everitt, a beautiful, incredibly social male (here’s a list of the current wolves of the White Wolf Sanctuary). We approach the fence together, walking normally – not too fast, and not slow. Once we reach the fence we crouch down, and my partner places the back of his hand against the cold metal. Everitt wanders right over and greets him, licking his hand and turning on his side for a scratch. My heart swells.

My sister and my mother meet Sakarri, the most gorgeous little sweet soul. Sakarri flattens her ears in excitement and looks like she’s about to take off; she can’t get to them fast enough. She kisses them all over their faces and buries her nose in their hair. She rubs her side against the fence and tries to cover herself in their scent. Even shy Modoc comes along to say hello, interested in who these joyful and gentle people are that I have brought to his home.

We spend the day making the social wolves and ourselves wholly happy, and we are treated to multiple howls and uncountable kisses. We return the next few days to ensure that everyone is fed, watered and content, and sadness suffocates my heart as we drive away for the last time to continue our trip. And writing this, right now – this is difficult for me to end.

How I miss the wolves.

Sam.

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America – West Coast

Tags

adventure, Battery Point Lighthouse, California, chipmunk, Crater Lake, Crescent City, deer, forest, forest fire, frog, Golden Gate Bridge, Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park, La Pine, Lake of the Woods, love, Ocean Haven, Oregon, photography, San Francisco, Sasquatch, snake, travel, west coast, Yachats

After spending a month volunteering tirelessly, on my own, for an unforgiving boss at a wolf sanctuary in the USA, my sister and brother-in-law drove down from Canada and my mother and my partner flew up from New Zealand for a reunion vacation. We spent a wonderful three days at Disneyland in California, and another couple of days in Los Angeles exploring other theme parks and the general area. I wasn’t sad to say goodbye to LA; I’m not much of a city person, and I was definitely “theme parked-out” by that point. I was also really looking forward to the next stage of the trip: a journey, by road, up the beautiful west coast.

We said a temporary farewell to my mum in LA (she was staying on with a childhood friend for some adventures of their own) and hopped in my sister’s Canadian car – it was now packed to the brim with the luggage of four people. Our next destination was San Francisco. It was just an overnight stop for us, and people had told me that it was a shame we wouldn’t be spending more time there as it’s a wonderful place, but I was eager to move on from cities and head to a more natural setting.

It took us almost seven hours to drive from our little AirBnB house in Los Angeles to San Francisco airport, where my partner and I picked up our rental car. We then all made our way to the shared room we’d be staying at for that night. I’m a ridiculously light sleeper, so sharing a room with three other people is not ideal for me, but everything else was either booked out or too expensive for our budgets. It ended up being really comfortable accommodation, and we enjoyed a wonderful meal at a local Salvadorian eatery that kindly stayed open for us despite the late hour.

Golden Gate Bridge in the fog

The following day we awoke to a very misty, grey August day in the city. We packed our bags again, and took our separate cars down to a beach near the famous Golden Gate Bridge to have a quick look. The height of the suspension bridge disappeared into the fog, and we didn’t stand around for too long as it was so chilly. We stopped off on the other side of it to take our touristey photos again, then found a place nearby for some brunch. It was then time to say goodbye and go our separate ways – them taking their time with the drive back to Canada, and my partner and I following a direct route to Crescent City, northern California.

When planning this trip I had wanted to find a place for us to set up for a few days where we could enjoy the incredible coastal redwoods. There were many options, and in the end we settled for a gorgeous log cabin in Crescent City. By the time factored in for encountered roadworks, stops for food and photographs, we didn’t reach our accommodation until about 10pm. Our gracious AirBnB host, Min, was waiting up for us to welcome us to her home.

Min’s log cabin boasts cathedral-style ceilings and large windows, with private balconies for guests to enjoy. It is nestled against the Jedediah Smith Redwoods State Park, and is naturally surrounded by wildlife. It had a rustic, forestey smell, and I snuggled into bed that night feeling very at home.

The following morning Min greeted us with a home-cooked breakfast. There were other guests staying in the log cabin, and it was interesting hearing the other travellers’ stories. I spent some time that morning admiring all the little animals on the property that had been locked away the night before – ducks and geese and quail and cute little chickens all running around the grass enjoying themselves. I loved knowing that we would be spending a couple of days here.

My partner and I decided to enjoy the Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park that day. The lack of blue sky concerned me – I’m a real sunshine girl, and I was hoping to soak up some warmth before heading back to the cold and wet New Zealand winter. Despite the slight chill in the air the park, of course, was beautiful. We hiked and skipped stones, saw snakes and tiny frogs, and explored the beautiful area in general.

The following day we checked out Crescent City itself. The Mexican food we encountered in America was so good. A lot of the stops we ended up making during our trip was focused around the delicious Mexican food! Crescent City had something to offer in that regard, and from there we took a quick look at Battery Point Lighthouse, one of the first lighthouses on the Californian coast. It sits atop its own little island, so it’s a good spot if you enjoy history and also if you like beautiful scenery. Also, I had no idea that Sasquatch is apparently a real thing in California! If you’re lucky you might see one… (But don’t be like this lady and take out a lawsuit against the state for not believing you.)

Later that night my sister got in touch; they had set up camp in the park nearby. It certainly wasn’t warm out, and I was glad that we were sleeping indoors! We had a lovely last dinner together, my partner and I settled in to spend our final night in California, and the next morning it was back to the road.

A view of Crater Lake and Wizard Island from a 2014 trip in summer

Crater Lake is a stunning spot in Oregon that is not to be missed. Approximately 7,700 years ago a violent volcanic eruption caused the creation of Crater Lake, and it now sits as the United States of America’s deepest lake, and the ninth deepest lake in the world. I saw Crater Lake during a trip there three years ago, and it is breath-taking to behold. As I said; it is not to be missed – except… my partner and I did miss it.

As we ventured out of the redwoods, we prepared ourselves for a shorter journey than our previous one. It would take us roughly five hours to a small city called La Pine, itself about an hour and a half’s drive from Crater Lake. As we crossed the Oregon border and made our way inland my smile broadened – a beautiful blue sky opened up above us and the sun graced us with its presence. We stopped for lunch at a gorgeous spot called Lake of the Woods at roughly the halfway point to our next destination. This natural lake in Klamath County has its own resort and restaurant, the Lake House Restaurant, and it was busy with people enjoying watersports in the lake for the summer. We sat out on the desk of the restaurant, marveling at the very fat chipmunks and squirrels zooming in all directions to accept food from the human visitors.

We were excited for our next accommodation, another gem found on AirBnB. As soon as we arrived I kicked myself that I had only booked us in to stay for two nights. It was stunning. Its AirBnB description is “A River Runs Thru It!” which definitely drew me to the listing. What I didn’t realise was that we had an entire two-storey cabin to ourselves. The bed was in an open-plan room on the second floor, looking out over the grounds and lake. We sat for some time admiring the incredibly lovely setting before heading out in search of another Mexican restaurant.

The following day I chatted to our host, Robin, about our plans to visit Crater Lake. The discussion actually led to us changing our plans. While we were aware of forest fires in Oregon, Robin opened our eyes to the fact that this fire season was particularly bad. She noted that other guests had complained that they had hardly been able to see Crater Lake at all. We had a chat and decided that because we only had one full day to enjoy this beautiful spot, and because the air was fresh and the sun was beaming happily down on us (whereas Crater Lake was completely covered with smoke), we would enjoy the sunny river and grasslands surrounding the accommodation.

While I do love Crater Lake, the decision to stay at the river isn’t one that I regret. We had a beautiful day relaxing and enjoying the nature directly around us, which I think is something tourists can easily forget to do when they are so focused on seeing particular sights.

From Robin’s it was a four hour drive the following day to my second home, Yachats in Oregon. Some of the most beautiful things I have ever seen have been around this area, and I couldn’t contain my excitement to finally share them with my partner.

Forest fire smoke hides the sun and burns the sky orange

However, as we made our way back out to the coast, the forest fire smoke choked everything around us. There was no blue sky, or striking blue ocean. It was hazy and grey, and the smokey sky and burnt ocean blurred into one. We stood atop one of my favourite spots on a cliff above the sea and I felt disappointed that my partner was not able to experience the awe that I’d had when I first found this place. Of course, it’s important to appreciate the moment, and my heart was filled with joy at being able to have my significant other stand here with me, facing out to the incredible Oregon coast.

That night we stayed in my absolutely favourite motel, Ocean Haven. I met Ocean Haven’s owner, Chrissy, in 2010 when I first visited Oregon, and instantly fell in love with her and the place. It was so good to see her again, and introduce my partner to her. That night the sunset shone through the fire smoke, and I went to bed feeling like a child the night before Christmas, ready to tiki-tour my partner around the most special place on earth to me. It was perfect being home.

Sam.

 

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Is there anything better than Disneyland?

Tags

California, Disneyland, Harry Potter, Hogsmeade, Knott's Berry Farm, Medieval Times, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, themeparks, Universal Studios

Last year I visited Disneyland for the first time at the age of 29. The three-day magical experience came right off the back of a month-long volunteer commitment that ended up being extremely mentally and emotionally draining. Disneyland was a cure for my depleted happiness stores.

The two days that followed my blissful Disneyland adventure were also filled with a couple of other theme-parks in California. I wondered to myself: will I find something as incredible as Disneyland? Will either of these parks even come close to the magic that Disney has? The short answer: No.

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Saturday morning, the day after we said goodbye to Disneyland, I woke up feeling deflated. Things just didn’t feel the same as they had the previous day. We had moved from our cute Disney-local hotel to an AirBnB place across town that didn’t feel as welcoming. My mother and sister were both suffering from red, sore and blistered legs. This is actually not an uncommon thing, and Google told us that it is sometimes known as “the Disney rash” (it comes after prolonged walking in the heat, and is super sore). After several late nights (which I simply cannot handle nowadays!) I was feeling very tired, and the mental trials I had faced over the previous month during my volunteer time with the wolves were seeping back into my mind.

But surely, there was hope, no? We were off to Universal Studios!

The most exciting part of Universal Studios for me was The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I love Harry Potter. I read the books as a teenager and reread them with my partner recently (he had never finished them before). My sister and her husband are complete fans, too; they had a Harry Potter-themed cake for their engagement, and at their wedding my sister walked down the aisle to the Harry Potter opening theme. I think out of all of us my sister’s husband was the most excited to be venturing to Universal Studios’ version of Hosgmeade, and was literally bouncing with glee once we redeemed our tickets and made our way into the park.

Something I noticed right away was that there was construction almost everywhere you looked. While Disneyland kept their construction to after-hours so as not to disrupt the immersion, Universal Studios didn’t hold back. There were all sorts of machines shrieking and screaming behind walls of thin plywood. Small posters spouting phrases such as “pardon my dust, I’m under construction” did nothing to relieve some of the disturbance you couldn’t help but feel. For me it was certainly a disappointment.

Ambiance of the Three Broomsticks Inn

Even so, on seeing the huge archway for Hogsmeade my childish joy ignited completely. We had a quick look at some stores, then made our way in to the Three Broomsticks for an absolutely delicious English-style big breakfast. The pumpkin juice and butterbeer were divine, the food was wonderful, the setting was amazing. After we ate our fill it was imperative that we buy our school robes and matching scarves. Gryffindor for me, Slytherin for my sister and Ravenclaw for my brother-in-law. My partner was not quite on board with that – considering the price of the robes that was probably a wise choice.

Then it was off to the Harry Potter motion master. The line was ridiculous – thankfully we had fast passes (our travel agent had found us a deal where we were able to get one fast pass per ride), so jumped ahead. You weren’t allowed bags on the ride, so we had to pay for a temporary locker space. One thing I noticed about this park was that they certainly like to clip the ticket wherever they can; it’s very, very commercial. At Disneyland I felt like a treasured guest, but here there was a lot of pressure to be a frequently paying consumer. In saying that, the motion master was incredible and certainly worth the small cost of the locker. However I’m not sure I would have felt satisfied after waiting in the queue for as long as people were expected to, but that’s just me.

Then we thought we would have a look at Ollivander’s – the famous wand store. There was a queue outside of it (I wasn’t really sure why, at this point), so we chatted away until finally being let in with a larger group.

On entering the store we found ourselves in a small wooden chamber. We were given a bit of a spiel about how wands work (they choose you, you know) before being let in to the next room. There was a wooden bench top, bookshelves full of books reaching up to the high ceiling, a staircase leading to a mysterious place – and on the staircase, waiting for us, was an intriguing shop assistant draped in magical robes.

I looked around, noting a vase of flowers sitting high up on a shelf. I had heard about this… It was a ceremony. We were here to witness someone receiving their wand. There are blog posts floating around the internet about how to be chosen. I haven’t read any of them. I was surrounded by excited kids and adults alike. I didn’t expect to be chosen. But I was.

The shop assistant singled me out from the crowd, and had me step forward, telling everyone in the room that magical talent can come at any age. In my typical fashion I instantly felt massive guilt for being chosen over my sister or brother-in-law. But I was so excited. I had been chosen to receive a magical wand from Ollivander’s!

The shop assistant gave me some different wands to try. She had me attempt spells – of course, the first couple of wands did not work, and I ended up killing the flowers in the vase high up in the bookcase. But finally, a wand pushed itself out of the bookshelf toward me. The shop assistant held it, and noted that she thought this was the one. I attempted a spell, and it went perfectly. A glowing light illuminated me as I realised: my wand had found me. It was a magical, breath-stopping moment.

The magical spell of the captivating ceremony, however, was broken as soon as we were ushered into the actual store where people could purchase wands of their own. A teller was waiting for me; he congratulated me on being chosen, and wasted no time in telling me the price of the wand. Ah – of course – you have to buy it. I mean, of course you do. Of course. But how lovely would it be if people who were chosen at these ceremonies got to keep their wands? My partner lovingly pointed out that in our group we were the only ones dressed in Hogwarts robes – no doubt the staff are trained to look for people who are fans and most likely to spend the money. The magic was over, and I was just another duped customer.

“Please don’t ask me how much I paid for this.”

I gave in and bought the wand. It was a more expensive version than the standard aesthetically-accurate wands, and actually interacted with some of the shop-fronts (you have to perform certain ‘spells’, and certain things will move in the shop windows, etc.). I lost interest in that fairly quickly, though, my feelings of “this place really wants to suck the money out of you” quite overpowering.

There was a lot more of the park to explore, so we left Hogsmeade and headed off to some other attractions. A stand-out for me was the Studio Tour. I didn’t know that it would be a ride in its own right, and it was fantastic. I would definitely recommend it.

The other rides for me weren’t very memorable. Any animatronics were not as well done as Disneyland, and I just wasn’t getting that feel of magic. By the end of the day we were all pretty tired, and quite happy to head home. However, just as we were deciding to leave we noted that there was a stunt show starting soon. Figuring that we may as well use our fast passes to get a seat, we found ourselves in a large arena in front of a set of WaterWorld (a film I still haven’t seen). A cast member introduced himself to us and sprayed people with water, cracking jokes as he did so, as people filed in to the arena. We warmed to him instantly, and it certainly cheered me up a bit.

The Universal Studios WaterWorld stunt show was incredible. The acting was fantastic, the stunts were impressive, and the whole set was simply amazing. There were costumed jet skis, there were death-defying heights, there was a storyline, there were explosions, even an airplane crash-landed (WHAT!!?) – I’m not a huge action movie fan, but I could certainly appreciate the amount of work that went into this show. It was a fantastic way to end the day.

The following day was that of rest for my mum, sister and brother-in-law, but my partner and I were off to Knott’s Berry Farm. My partner was looking for the ultimate rollercoaster, whereas I was hoping for something cute and quiet.

Knott’s Berry was fun – I enjoyed the themed “ghost town” most of all (probably thanks to my obsession with LARPing), and I found the atmosphere to be a smidge more captivating than Universal Studios, but once again it wasn’t Disneyland, not by far. My partner managed to rope me into going on one of the scariest rollercoasters (made of wood; it creaks and strains as you climb higher and higher, and moves so fast going down that I couldn’t breathe!), but even that didn’t satisfy his craving to find something truly adrenaline-pumping. The ultimate rollercoaster remains undiscovered!

Hmmmm, no thank you

Our theme park week lasted five days including Disneyland. While Universal Studios was fun, I enjoyed the atmosphere and rides of Knott’s Berry Farm more, but Disneyland was the absolute winner for me. We also went to Medieval Times for dinner one night (which again, as a LARPer, I quite enjoyed, despite its incredible cheesiness. My partner loved the fact that at dinner there was no cutlery). It was a hectic, tiring five days, and if I did it again I would probably decide to stay at Disneyland. But what a wonderful way to have a family reunion.

Sam

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Minimalism

Tags

conscious consumer, happiness, lifestyle, minimalism, minimalists, project 333

Have you heard of ‘The Minimalists‘? I was introduced to the concept of ‘Minimalism’ by my partner as we were planning to buy our own home. He was suddenly obsessed with decluttering and donating. I always look at ways of donating or otherwise recycling unneeded possessions rather than putting them into landfill, but I can’t say that I’ve ever decided, “Right, I’m going to get rid of half my stuff.” Buying our own home was the start of our ‘Minimalism’ journey – we went from a rented house with three bedrooms and a double garage, to a little 60 square meter place that has two bedrooms (converted into my piano studio) and no garage. We’ve had to get rid of a lot of stuff. And a lot of this stuff I hadn’t even looked at in the two years we were renting, or even before that – but I’d held on to it anyway because… well… ‘Just in case’.

Part of the whole minimalism thing is a shift in thinking. Instead of looking at an object and saying, “Ah yes, I might want that for something in five years so I may as well hold onto it,” it’s looking at an object and asking myself “Is this going to add real value to my life?” If not – get rid of it, or don’t buy it. Minimalism isn’t just about getting rid of things we don’t need; it’s about living more intentionally. It’s about being more conscious consumers. It’s a lifestyle that asks you to step away from the incredibly damaging fast fashion industry, and instead looks at how you can still own things that you love, but by purchasing quality items that last you many seasons as opposed to cheap garments produced in sweatshops that will probably end up in the rubbish in a few months because they are no longer trendy. Check out Project 333 if you are up for a challenge in minimising your wardrobe (it doesn’t require you to get rid of anything you own!).

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The two people who have been communicating their message of Minimalism to the world (Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus) describe it as: “Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.”

Getting rid of ‘stuff’ and decluttering your physical space is a recommended part of it. But it’s also about letting go of the ideology that we need to ‘be’ a certain way in order for others to accept and respect us. “If I have this type of car, what does it say about me as a person?” “Does this art on my studio wall sufficiently communicate my personality and trendiness?” “I need to strive to look like the models in the magazines I read.” These are phrases we may not consciously say to ourselves, but society including advertising, media, jobs and our peers all push us to subconsciously ask ourselves these things when making decisions. Once you decide to live a life for yourself, and not what society dictates, it grants you a lot more freedom.

To me, minimalism isn’t about caring less. It’s about caring more. Caring more about yourself, your relationships, the world around you – once you begin letting go of the things that don’t really matter, you are able to focus on the meaningful things that do. My partner and I donated furniture, clothing, appliances and more before moving in to our new home, and we still have plenty to go. People have started offering us suggestions of items that we ‘need’ or ‘should have’, and ideas on how to extend our home (“you definitely want an extra room, and you should probably have a larger living area”) – but we are so happy with how it is now. Part of our minimalism journey is to let go of that pressure to be constantly focused on how to ‘better’ what we have, and just enjoy this current moment.

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My partner has been recommending for weeks that I watch “The Minimalists” documentary on Netflix, Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. I finally got around to watching it on the weekend, sitting on our second-hand couch in our little living space – and I’m so glad that I did. So much of it resonated with me – it accurately described a lot of the pressures I’ve felt to look a certain way, have enough money to buy certain clothes, and work hard enough at my job so that I’ll be respected – all the while pushing to the side the things I really enjoy in life; reading a book under a tree, lying on the beach next to my partner with our cellphones switched off, volunteering, sitting in the sun with my rescue kittens, getting my hands grubby in the garden. These things are deemed as ‘nice to do’ but they don’t give you any Trendy Life points or Congratulations You’re a Career Girl points or You’ve Achieved a Life that Popular People Will Be Envious of on Social Media points. But if I did those things all day every day – my happiness bubble would be so full it’d be in danger of bursting! So I’d rather focus on those things that bring me true happiness as opposed to welcoming the anxiety of trying to make others envy my social media platforms, or striving to work 70 hours a week just to make a faceless corporation accept me, etc. etc. etc.

If you have access to Netflix I would definitely recommend watching the Minimalism documentary. It filled me with a sense of calm, and this lovely feeling that I can achieve more for myself. If you would like to read more about this whole Minimalism thing you can have a look at where to start on Josh & Ryan’s page here – they’ve got a few great suggestions on their website which are perfect to read over if you are interested in learning more.

Sam.

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I wrote a LARP and it was scary

Tags

anxiety, dress-ups, fairytale, friends, larp, live action roleplay, murder mystery, party

I wrote a LARP. I didn’t mean to write a LARP… I meant to write a simple murder mystery… but I got carried away… and suddenly we were all standing in my garden with fairy wings and pretty wands and elf ears and fake blood and multi-coloured glitter and…

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My blog usually focuses on my animal-related work. Every now and then I include something completely different, and this is one of those something completely differents. Please do hang around if you like dress ups and fairy tales.

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Putting my masquerade costume together

For my 30th birthday last year I purchased a murder mystery game online: the Ravenwood Masquerade Murder Mystery. I class myself as a relatively unconventional gal, and I really fancied a masquerade party for this apparently milestone of a birthday. When I was a kid my mum and dad put on regular murder mystery nights. I remember guests arriving at our home in an array of costumes, spouting different accents and smoking cigars, waving hats and twirling dresses depending on the theme of the evening. In high school one of my friends held a murder mystery for her birthday – we sat around a table eating tasty food and getting through the game that turned out to be very inappropriate and satisfyingly hilarious. I remember enjoying it, but not exactly how it worked, hence why I purchased one for my own dinner party to try out.

The theme of Ravenwood is pretty simple; in a gloomy town full of scandal and suspicious folk, a spectacular masquerade ball is thrown at the nearby castle. People receive tickets in the mail despite not paying for them, and a rabble of mismatched characters is brought together for a night of decadence… and maybe death.

The game was fun and easy to play, even for my friends who aren’t in the LARP (live action roleplay) scene as I am. We ate, drank and merried the night away, someone ‘died’ and more than one person was accused as the killer. The night went so smoothly that I decided to commit to what I had been contemplating: I would write my own LARP. I mean murder mystery. I began brainstorming straight after the Ravenwood night (November) and worked on it right up until we actually played it (March).

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The game is called A Midsummer Night’s Murder and is based in the present day, but features magical creatures (Fae) as well as humans. If you’d like to read the premise you can click here to have a look. I love fantasy (light as well as spooky) and penny dreadfuls, so I took inspiration from (and featured references of) literature, plays and other media such as Frankenstein, Harry Potter, Fern Gully, Game of Thrones, The Autumn Castle and others (including, of course, Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream).

I love the game. I love the characters I created, the twists and turns, the secrets and scandals. But as we drew closer to the night of the event I found it all very worrisome. I’d invited friends in the LARP community who love roleplay and can “get into character” in an instant, and I had also invited friends who had never done this sort of thing before. Would it be too much for the ‘non-larpers’? Would people get along? Would everyone be horribly bored because nobody but myself would end up enjoying it? What if someone didn’t turn up, and their character was a pinnacle one and the whole story fell apart? Would my partner, who is not a larper, hate it so much that it caused an argument!? Would it be a huge, awful disaster and people would never want to talk to me again!?
I’m 30, and this is how my brain works, every single day. I still haven’t figured out how to quieten it down.

I’ve called this particular blog post “I wrote a LARP and it was scary” not because the game itself was super scary (though it does include some horror themes), but because the writing, organising and running of it was scary. All that pressure I felt – the fear of disappointing (or worse, upsetting) friends was awful to deal with! The anxiety revolving around worrying that it would be a complete failure of an evening was quite overwhelming. I had stress dreams. Lots of stress dreams.

The whole scenario got me thinking about all those times I played in a LARP of any scale and said to myself “I could never run one of these”. I’ve always decided that the pressure would be too much to deal with. This feeling of doubt is strengthened any time I come across negative feedback people have in regards to games that they’ve participated in. I feel that I would not be able to healthily deal with feedback pertaining to a game I had poured months of creation and countless hours of work into if that feedback came anywhere near to what I perceive as negative. And yet my creative, brave friends are out there constructing these incredible worlds from their imaginations, weaving together storylines for others to improvise on, and actually setting up these huge events for people to take part in that sometimes span across days. I think I would implode from all the stress and anxiety it would cause me.

But still, I ran my own little fairytale game. The larpers, I know, found it a lot easier than those who had never experienced this sort of thing before. The friends new to this type of adventure did find it difficult (an ‘out-of-character’ area helped, along with a good dose of Cards Against Humanity to break the ice), but they all did really well. My partner, who had sworn in the past that he would never come LARPing with me, admitted at the end of the night that he enjoyed it. And my amazing mum was wonderful at reassuring me all night that she was having a good time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would I write and run a game again? Definitely. The highlights for me were seeing everyone arrive in their costumes and the different ways in which each person interpreted the character I had written for them. I also loved watching where the various stories were going – things happened that I would never have expected, and it was fantastic following the different directions of things. I would definitely like to run A Midsummer Night’s Murder in a more ‘official’ capacity, perhaps at an upcoming LARP convention somewhere local. I’d love to see what a completely different group of people would do with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would I write and run a game in the same capacity again? Probably not. I think this was a bit too much for those who didn’t know what to expect. In hindsight I should have put it straight on the table as a LARP, rather than a potentially-casual murder mystery. So if any of my non-larper friends who attended are reading this: thanks so much for giving it a go!

Sam.

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‘Taming’ the timids

Tags

animal behaviour, animal rescue, animal welfare, animals, cat rescue, cats, fostering, kitten rescue, kittens, Lonely Miaow

I have been involved with an array of animal rescue projects in a variety of countries. When I’ve worked abroad it has, for the most part, been for a program that aims to release animals from the bonds of extortion, offering freedom from abuse at the very least, and sometimes with the goal of rehabilitating the animals back into the wild. These projects cater for each individual animal’s personality, quirks, health issues, etc. For example, at the Sepilok Orangutan Rehablitation Centre in Borneo a particularly ill primate will be given intensive care with a rehabilitation plan tailored for its every requirement. At the White Wolf Sanctuary in the USA if a particular wolf feels threatened by human males it will not be forced to interact with them. These projects adapt to suit each animal they work with, rather than requiring the individual animal to suit the program’s parameters.

Not every rescue organisation has this ability. For example, a cat rescue & rehoming charity I work with in New Zealand, Lonely Miaow, aims for the succinct but ambitious goal of “no more strays” in its area of operation.  We rescue stray cats and kittens (including those abandoned by previous owners) with the ultimate goal of finding new homes for them. A cat or kitten’s chance of finding a new home depends greatly on its temperament. An ‘aggressive’ or otherwise fearful cat may never be adopted by a member of the public. Thus, it is our job to socialise them as best we can. This can be incredibly tough, and in this post I am going to outline the general five-step process I use for ‘taming’ timid kitties.

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1. Confinement

The first step is creating a safe, confined area for your fearful feline. I use crates as a starting point. I prefer crates because they are smaller and more secure than a whole room. Plus, cats and kittens are adept at squishing themselves into impossibly tiny hidey-spaces. You don’t want your kitty to be able to escape you completely. In a crate you can provide them with a dark box to hide in, but ultimately they are within your easy grasp if you do need to handle them for any reason. You don’t want to be chasing your feline around a room because this stresses both you and kitty out, and means that they will associate you with a negative experience. A crate is a safe, small, secure area that you can control.

Give your kitty a day or two to get used to its new environment and settle.

‘Mischief’ getting settled in his crate containing snuggly blanket, hiding box and hammock.

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2. Tasty Food

Cats are opportunistic carnivores, built to eat 12-24 small meals over a 24-hour period of time. They should have some food and fresh water available at all times. I feed my rescue cats standard dry food provided by the charity. Once or twice a day, however, I find something super tasty for them to eat. My preference is Jimbo’s pet food – a New Zealand-made raw meat range suitable for cats. I find that many rescue cats who have had to catch food on their own are crazy about good quality raw meat. It’s extremely nutritious for them, and I always notice an improvement in the condition of their coats once they have decent raw food in the diet.

For those kitties I’ve encountered who don’t give the raw meat the reaction I like to see, I trial a couple of other things. Fussy Cat grainfree is a brand of pet food in Australasia that offers a variety of wet foods. One of these tends to be a winner, and I love the fact that they have a whole range of grainfree products (cats don’t have any nutritional requirement for grains).

A main point of offering this tasty food is to get kitty associating you with something positive. My strategy is to provide the standard dry food at all times, but once or twice a day offer something super tasty. I start with just popping the tasty food in the crate and walking away (you want kitty to have an opportunity to eat it properly and get hooked!), and over time I will hang around the crate while kitty eats, or even sit at the door. Depending on how confident you think kitty is you can even trial giving them a stroke or two while they eat. If all goes well you’ll eventually find that your furry friend will anticipate the meal and may start to call for you to visit them in their crate, and even approach you when you do so. Using tasty food is how I’ve broken the ‘no touch’ barrier with many of my rescues.

Louis’ first time letting me feed him

One case study is my own boy, Louis. Louis was found as an unneutered adult male. He was very timid when he came into my care. I popped him in a crate and he lived in my kitchen for several weeks while I tried to get him used to me. It was a real breakthrough when he let me hand- and spoon-feed him food. I didn’t have any other cats at this point – often you find that having confident cats around really speeds up the progress of socialisation. For Louis and I it was just us two getting through things alone.

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3. Forced Snuggles

Anything ‘forced’ may not sound very positive, but this is something you are going to want to trial with your timids once you feel they have gotten used to your presence around the crate more. I find it works best with multiple kittens. For example, there’s always one kitten in a litter who seems a bit more confident than the others. This is the cat I focus on for snuggle time. My process is not to pick them up, but to pat them where they are in their crate. Often they will run into their hiding box – that’s fine, but I still go ahead and pat them. You don’t want them to learn that they can run away from you; you want them to get used to being petted. If you have focused on the most confident one you’ll find that after a few times of giving them pats they should start to purr. Once you have one purring it’s much easier to get the others to settle into the pats, too.

This is a situation you definitely want to judge properly. I have had some incredibly flighty cats that would go nuts the first few times I patted them. In these instances I kept it very brief; I made sure to pat them before leaving (because I didn’t want them to learn that if they ran away they would be left alone – this may sound harsh, but it does work) and then popped a portion of their favourite food down once I was done.

There are always going to be cats who are impossible to ‘tame’. I wouldn’t force-cuddle any cat who is going to be a danger to you or itself if you try and initiate contact.

Louis’ first snuggles

One week after being able to hand-feed Louis he let me stroke him properly for the first time. He wasn’t sure at first, but he settled into purrs quite quickly (and I had to document it with a photo, of course). Most cats do want to be loved, it’s just helping them get to the point where they feel safe enough to relax.

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4. Play

Playtime is an incredibly helpful tool for bonding with your cat. It releases endorphins and is another way in which kitty will associate you with a positive experience. I particularly like the ‘fishing rod’ (or, magic wands, as I call them) type toys; a rod with a dangly fluffy or feathery toy at the end of it. These give you control over where the toy goes, and you can even use them to stroke the kitty every now and then. Cats are natural predators, and their drive is to investigate any little movements, so if you have them immersed enough in your play session they will almost forget that they’re nervous around you!

You may want to swap the Forced Snuggles and Play steps depending on how comfortable you think kitty is with you.

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5. More Space to Roam

My final step is to see how kitty goes being given more room to explore. In my current home the living room and kitchen are connected openly, so once kitties are let out of their crates they have quite the space to run around in. This is a big test, and I only let it happen once I’m confident that kitty will come back to the crate if I lure it with food or a toy. I begin my playing with their favourite toy outside the crate door. They will timidly step outside, and enjoy some playtime. I usually get them back into the crate after a few minutes of this. Next time they will be more confident, and I’ll encourage them to venture a bit further.

You want them to learn that when the crate door opens to let them out, they have to interact with you. Sometimes when I have multiple kittens in a crate I’ll be happy for only one or two to come out, but more will try and escape. You do not want the really shy ones to get out into the rest of the house, because that will eventually lead to a chase (and a negative experience for them). So the rule is: kitties can only come out when they get involved in some comfortable playtime or let you give them some cuddles.

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Dragon

Dragon was a beautiful boy I had from a litter of four. He has been the most difficult kitten I’ve had to handle to date. I began by needing bite-proof gloves to handle him with, and he would get incredibly stressed. Even when his siblings were out of the crate and happily roaming around the house he would have to stay confined because I knew he would simply hide from me if I let him out. He took time and patience, and a mixture of food bribes, carefully introduced playtime and pats when I could get them. When I did eventually let him out to the rest of the house he became quite timid again – this is not uncommon when the kitty is exploring a new environment, and you just have to use their favourite bribe (food/playtime/cuddles) as you see fit to assist them with getting more confident in different areas. Dragon would shy away from me if I went to pat him in the larger rooms, but once I did manage to stroke him he would turn straight back into a cuddly baby. By giving him lots of cuddles as he was wandering around he eventually became relatively confident, and was adopted by a lovely guy who tells me that he now gets drooled on every night because Dragon is such a smooch! It’s all about finding the right tool for the individual animal, as they all deserve to find loving homes that they feel safe in.

As for Louis, my partner and I officially adopted him after several months of having him in our care. Adult cats are certainly more difficult to rehome than kittens are, and he wasn’t getting too many hits from potential adopters. We realised that things just wouldn’t be the same without him around, so we took that step ourselves. He is now our “number one son” and helps us to bring other rescue kitties out of their shells.

Sam.

Louis

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